Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
