I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
