She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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