drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
