I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You left your phone here
Wait...
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