While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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