And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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