You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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