Buhtt sex?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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