don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
