I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
