Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
