I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
