bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
