looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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