i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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