I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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