You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
