Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
