well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
