garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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