and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
