So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I didn't shave. On purpose
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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