i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
