just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
