Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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