He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You're like the curious george of whores
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
