During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
