Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
