one might say we're banned from that church
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
