I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He did a backflip because drugs
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
