We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
