Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
