Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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