I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
