Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
