Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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