I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
