Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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