Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize