Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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