im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
