If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
