That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
