My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
