i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize