why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
