So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
