from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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