Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
