Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize