at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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