I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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