you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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