We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize