I wish I only lived at night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
