I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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