I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
