i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
