How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
