Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook

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(812): View more from Indiana

i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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(763): View more from Minnesota

there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

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(303): View more from Colorado

He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

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(301): View more from Maryland

We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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