I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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