I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
