I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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