make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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