it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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